segunda-feira, 25 de setembro de 2006

II. Mind your sense of humour...

It has been nine weeks since I became a blogger. At first I thought it wouldn't be so easy to get to know the persons whose blogs I had begun to visit. But then, as time went by, as in a real face‑to‑face acquaintance, idiosyncratic behaviour became apparent: on one side, those who rapidly became good friends with me; on the other, those who clearly kept their distances for some reason not always, almost never, quite clear. No news up till now.

At a given moment I decided to alleviate my favourites' list from some of those burdens. And so I did. Last week, however, one of those I had tried to make friends with came suddenly back to leave two comments here, and, by so doing, gave me the impression he might be now interested in getting in touch with me. So I went check out his blog in return.

When I looked at his blogroll I suddenly caught sight of my nickname. That's not me for sure, I said to myself. There must be lots of guys using such a common nickname. Then I clicked on it, and my blog came on display. I was surprised, even a little bit glad about that change of odds and also about the fact that he was enjoying visiting my blog. So I went back again to his blog. Pointing just by chance at my nickname, inside a tiny rectangular white tag that suddenly showed up I got to read the following:

«Smart, multilingual, caring. But still reads me.»

What on earth was that all about? How was I to react? First I was stunned, and then I felt somehow outraged. Is it anyone's right to make public his personal, subjective «evaluation» of another individual, especially in such a way that it easily turns into some kind of caricature? I've been a teacher myself for more than two decades – I guess I still am – but I just don't go around evaluating individuals publicly as if I were in the classroom the whole time. We all have impressions on others, but do we put them on public display for everyone else to read? I don't think so. That is just not right, not correct, not polite, and not respectful. And whenever it comes to desrespect, well… I just boil!

All I now wish for is that you please go and just leave me be. Misunderstanding your sense of humour may definitely be my own problem, but I simply don't want it to be one I shall have to deal with, that's all. Writing for the world to read, as far as I conceive it, implies a certain broadmindedness that aims to be inclusive, not exclusive. «I am myself plus my own circumstances», and this I cannot change at will.

7 comentários:

Kapitano disse...
Este comentário foi removido por um administrador do blogue.
Kapitano disse...

You misunderstand. I described you as "Smart, multilingual and caring" - and therefore interested in reading blogs from people who are also smart, also multilingual, and also caring.

But, in spite of having this good taste, you read my blog - implying that my blog is stupid, monolingual, and uncaring.

I the rectangular tag, I expressed puzzlement that someone with good taste would read my work. Which means my work isn't good. It's a joke.

I'm making a joke of self criticism. This is the dry, british, self-effacing sense of humour, and you misunderstood it.

Whether or not you chose to read me, I still enjoy reading your blog.

RIC disse...

No, I don't think I misunderstand what is the issue here.
That's why I changed the post after reading your first comment.
In the 1.st paragraph, «and therefore» is a construct of yours, and bears no meaning as to the blogs I like and enjoy reading.
No matter how surprised, disturbed, even outraged I got after reading that tag, I still tried a way to make you realise I was not happy about, not the words, but the fact that, by exhibiting that tag, you were making public an opinion on someone else (you actually don't know) that was only yours own and not for everyone else browsing through your blog to know about. This is the core of the issue. Was there any answer? I believe not. What do you want me to think about your non reaction?
You have every right to make all the jokes of self criticism you want, but please leave the others out of that scenario. I speak English fairly well, but that doesn't automatically make me an expert on English/British culture, far from it. And like me I'm sure others would react likewise. With no intention of playing with words, I didn't misunderstand it; I didn't understand it, I don't understand it, and it's no obligation of mine to understand it.
You can read my blog whenever you please. As to reading you, and as I said in that comment you olympicly ignored, I will do so on this blog because everyone who comments is a guest to me. So if you comment I'll most certainly read you.
(You can't imagine how terribly frustrating this is to me. We could be talking about so many interesting things… It's sad indeed.)

Kapitano disse...

Then let's calm down and talk about some interesting things.

I didn't olypmically ignore the comment you left. I read it, was puzzled by it, and intended to reply, just as soon as I could formulate a response.

Unfortunately, I am a busy person, and I forgot. In face-to-face communication, people don't forget to speak, but in letters and blogs, sometimes they do, and I did.

I'm sorry I accidentally offended you, and I'm sorry that I didn't get around to responding.

Now, you're angry, and I'm upset because it's me you're angry at. I have apologised, and I would like us to go back to being civil to each other, whether or not we can be friends.

RIC disse...

No, I'm not angry. No, I'm not angry at you. As I said, I'm frustrated, I'm sad, I'm disappointed. And I believe I'm being civil to you ever since the moment I read your first comment and changed the post, because under a different light some of my words were out of order. So I think we are already following the path you propose us to follow.

Joel disse...

Allo Ric!?

Tu n'aimera pas ma réponse.
Je crois que tu vois un insulte lors qu'il en a pas.

Il te vois intelligent, gentil et même avec ces caractéristiques tu prend le temps de le lire pareil.

C'est vraiment tout ce que je vois.

Je ne crois vraiment pas que cet évaluation est méchante.

Désolé!?

J

RIC disse...

Merci beaucoup, Joël, pour vouloir nous aider! Vraiment! Nous avons passé la nuit antérieure presque tout entière en essayant de régler la situation. Et nous l'avons fait!
La question, pour moi, n'a rien à voir avec ce qui était écrit dans le tag, mais qu'il était là dans son blog pour que tout le monde le puisse lire. Tu me pardonneras, mais moi je n'aime pas ça du tout. Pour moi c'est une question de respect, même ce que l'on y peut lire parle bien de moi. C'est un principe à moi.
Tout est réglé maintenant. De nouveau, je te remercie pour ton aide. Tu aimes que les gens soient bien les uns avec les autres, et ça pour moi a beaucoup de valeur.
Je t'embrace! :-)